Bertrand: Shmike, I don't really care what you like.

Basil: Ham radio: the original Myspace.

Basil: Popcorn is not grapes

Basil: Lettuce is green...unless it's red.

Lisa: That's why I don't like beer, because of the beast.

Basil (while drinking a Guinness): I like my beer like I like my women.
Nick: Dark and heavy?

Basil: Fuck the internet. Gopher, bitch.

Drucker: I'm standing near two people who personify everythign i hate about pop culture and I'm about to crucify them. 

Basil: Little girl asks her mother why I'm black

Basil: I'm just waiting for someone to sample Bob Dylan.

Basil: Petrochemical refineries and footbal: That's what Jersey does!

Kyan: Is Joe either an anarchist or gay?

Drucker: Why is the eye in Lord of the Rings a big vagina?

Drucker: She's like Midas, but everything she touches dies.