Andy: I think 287 traffic is so bad right now that it's moving backwards through time. I can't say for sure, but i think i just saw thomas jefferson go by on a horse

Basil Decambre: Sure it wasn't Sally Hemmings? Wow, that's fucked up. Fuckin' racist.

Jenny: Everything should be burritos

Andy: Did you see the robot spiders?
Jenny, Leah, Basil: There are robot spiders? Awesome!
Andy: Fucking fuck that shit! If robotic spiders actually happened, there wouldn't be enough pants in the world to keep up with how fast I'd be pissing them.