Basil: The coat hanger fixes the problem. The duct take ensures that it never happens again.

Basil: Proof that the end is nigh: Xanadu: The Musical.

Basil: He's bringing the zombie back.

Basil: If it weren't for black people, there would be no '50s.

Basil: You can never have too much chocolate...unless you have too much

Andy: I had a salad for lunch
Lisa: I had birdpoop

Drucker: "This nail must have been hammered in."

Drucker: Who's been following me around all day cooking delicious chicken?

Bertrand: Shmike, I don't really care what you like.

Basil: Ham radio: the original Myspace.

Basil: Popcorn is not grapes

Basil: Lettuce is green...unless it's red.

Lisa: That's why I don't like beer, because of the beast.

Basil (while drinking a Guinness): I like my beer like I like my women.
Nick: Dark and heavy?

Basil: Fuck the internet. Gopher, bitch.

Drucker: I'm standing near two people who personify everythign i hate about pop culture and I'm about to crucify them. 

Basil: Little girl asks her mother why I'm black

Basil: I'm just waiting for someone to sample Bob Dylan.

Basil: Petrochemical refineries and footbal: That's what Jersey does!

Kyan: Is Joe either an anarchist or gay?

Drucker: Why is the eye in Lord of the Rings a big vagina?

Drucker: She's like Midas, but everything she touches dies.

Drucker: Pussy pussy everywhere and not a drop to drink

Basil: My dick will henceforth be known as the BBC.

Basil: I love whale's vagina. numnumnumnum

Basil: My sister drove into a ditch and cracked her oil pan; I'm in a delivery room in Monterey; we need to pick up some dolphins.